alternatives

I just asked the K-Man, who just went through a rough recruitment procedure about how it went

I told him
"did you pass?

if you did: champagne !!

if you didn't:...vodka

lunch

It's 2p.m.
I have had lunch for over 2 hours.

Jay hasn't.

-"I'm gonna go grab something to eat"

-"it's a bit late"

-"who did you have lunch with"

-"SadGirl" (both Jay and I think she's cute)

-"Oh, did she say anything about me?"

-"yeah"

-"what?"

-"that I'm hotter than you"

the silence that followed told a long and intricate tale of humiliation

into the wild

my boss:
-this movie about the guy that travels to alaska, a really sad story. very depressing ending. he's a gifted kid who decides that a career and all that doesn't make sense, that family is the most important thing, but his family is completely unrelatable to, so he leaves and meets a lot of weird disconnected people along his way to the furthestmost point in alaska, where he dies miserably.

me
-dunno, thought it was quite beautiful and it gave me a lot of hope

my boss
-there's something really wrong with you, you know that right

me
-well, don't know, every day I wish I would just leave it all behind and...go

knife vs. Jui Juitsu

-"You know that one of these days I'm going to cut your throat right?"

-"what?"

-"Yeah, I'm gonna crawl behind you, take out my knife and slit your throat from left to right" (i'm right handed, and have watched way too many crime movies)

-"bah, you're so useless you'll probably hurt yourself"

-"no, i'll take a really good knife, that cuts really well, it will be easy"

-"that's exactly what I mean, by the time you take your knife out, you'll have already cut your own belly open"

-"hum no" (I don't think I'm that useless, and I have a wonderful, well actually more than one, japanese kitchen knife with a professional finition etc., it cuts through steel, well, no, but it will cut through Jay like butter)

-"and once you've cut yourself, I'll grab your guts, pull them out and tie a knot with them.
Then, I'll proceed to braking your right wrist, your left wrist, your ankles,
...you see, I still have never taken a Jui Juitsu lock until the end
and then I'll break your knees, your omoplates

-"hmmm"

-"and then i'll just kick you in the face"

-"i'll probably be unconscious before that"

-"yeah, but it's fun"

-"bah, you won't do any of that"

-"huh?"

-"you won't, you don't even really like violence (well he does though), and you're way too nice a guy to ever do any of that to me"

-"don't say that, why are you saying that, that's unfair !!"


pussy !!

boobs

This happened right now

I was litterally thinking:
"wow, I've checked out the boobs of 100% of the women I've seen in my office building. Some of these women have amazing racks.
I wish I was in there.
I wish I was sooo in there."

And then, as I was thinking that
BMac tells me:
"there's a billboard outside my window
they just put it up

R: what does it say?

BMac: i have no idea what they are advertising, but it has a closeup of a woman's cleavage
i can't stop looking out the window
and I don't even need to move to see it



I feel more normal

lunch

lunch in an office cantine can be somewhat "institutionalised"

so you have to kill the boredom somehow.

Today I had lunch with Jay, C-Boy and VanD

Topics included

-why women dress like crap
-why you can't tell woman when they do dress like crap
-sex with goats
-sex with sheep
-opening a place where you can just go and fuck
without it becoming a gay place,
as only dudes would come
-hunting
-hunting of the jews in German forests
-guns
-more guns
-climbing trees

too long without

BMac: dude
BMac is online.
BMac: what are you doing right now???
R: nothing
for now
why?
BMac: JFC
update it now!!!
i'm getting tired of waiting!!!
R: with what?
BMac: i dunno
the election
global warming
pubes
i don't care
R: i'm out of funny
BMac: something

There

you have something Bmac ;)

lack of updates

sorry about this. im traveling around a bit.
i ll resume normal updates from next week on

everywhere i go there is one constant: jui juitsu is gay

For the Times they are a changing

Its early,
Its way too early for me to be at work, nevermind actually working.

I wait patiently as my computer boots.

I open FireFox, it's time to start working.
I mean that it's time to read the newspaper.
I mean, read the sports section. why doesn't anyone care that Palin won Ms Alska because there were only monters in Alaska at that time. God she looked fucking aweful in that swimsuit.

I hears steps in the corridor.
They sound like Jay's monring tired walk.

Then, I hear a sound I never heard before.
It tore my ears appart like the scream of a puppy being ran over by a 4x4 (I have unfortunately witnessed this..., but that's another story).

-"hello" said a feminine voice
-"HELLO" replied Jay, loudly, motivated

He then comes into our office
-"Hi".
-"eeeem, hi, did I just hear you say hello to someone? do you have friends? are you socialising? what the fuck?"
-"i know...can't believe it either"

We're not in Kansas anymore

why

J-"Why doesn't Ulrika come and say hi to me in the morning?"

R-"because you're ugly"

J-"Why does she say hello to you then?"

R-"Because I'm hot"

J-"That makes sense..."

syrup

-"cough, cough, cough"

-"do you want some of my cough syrup?" (I was sick two weeks ago, and its right on my desk)

-"No, I'd rather die than have any of your shitty cough syrup....I'm being less and less mean, I think something's wrong
...
...I wonder if I can donate blood while I'm sick.."


wtf?

The joys of farting

Today I farted in an elevator right before getting out of it.

Life is beautiful

MILF Solicitors episode 1

It's all about how you die

I'm downstairs, grabbing a morning coffee with the K-Man

I'm a little stressed, today is not my best day.

Jay told me this morning, after I told him that I felt today basically as I felt yesterday that today I was "one day older".

This is great, it means that every single day of my life, my body has deteriorated a little more.

anyway,

I'm downstairs, grabbing a morning coffee with the K-Man

I think he's not doing too good either, he says:
-"I have a bad feeling, I feel that something big is going to happen"
-"what like nuclear war?"
-"Don't know, something like that, something bit, something we will over which we will have no control whatsoever"
-"well, you should console yourself with the fact that at least you'll get to get laid one last time before we all blow up.
I will have to settle with masturbating, alone"

shlak, shlak, shlak, - rhaaaa/BOOOOOM

this is so not going to happen

-"Why don't you write a special Jay blog?"

-"...hmmm"

-"Yeah, a blog where you would write nice things about me, and I could go there when I'm depressed"


I didn't even bother replying.

This is so never going to happen :)

a real athlete

Jay
you hurt my arm

so this is an homage from me to you...

Flaming Baton Twiler!

Drumming

-"I know why you play drums now"

-"I'm prepared for the worst...



...hahaha"

-"I wasn't expecting you to be laughing this much, if I had known that, I wouldn't have sent you this"

:)

hair

c-boy is in my office

Jay, C-Boy and I are discussing C-Boy's attire.
He looks elegant today

does he have a meeting?

whatever

I don't have a meeting

At least I hope

I don't elegant today
as most days

most days, I don't have meetings

tomorrow I have a lunch with a hot chick
I'll be elegant tomorrow

I notice something else

-"Your hair is different"

-"Well, it's different every day"

Jay also notices something

-"wooo, you noticed his hair, wow, your hair is different, woo wooo"

I think he's trying to imply something

-"Well, at least, he, has hair !"

burn !!

fighting french

oooh

they're fast
but they are total sissies

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

sending stuff

-"I was going to send you a link, but I was afraid you'd take it the wrong way"

-"bah, don't worry" (given the situation, what could he send me that could hurt me. I'm de-sentized by now)

-"i'm pretty sure it would hurt you"

-"what I don't understand is: If you know that you can send me something that is going to hurt me, how come I haven't received it already?"

I Jay turning into some kind of samaritan now?
Is he sick?

2 hours ago he tried to perform a triangle on me.



Given that we were in the office, it was kind of an akward situation...