-"I just bought a 33cl bottle of Minute Maid, and it only has 20mg of Vitamine C"
-"huuuh??"
-"Well, the can, which is also 33cl, has 30mg of Vitamine C"
-"Maybe its because the bottle is made out of plastic?"
Jay just looks at me like i'm an idiot
-"Well, the plastic is transparent, so the sunlight hits the juice and may deteriorate the Vitamin concentration of the juice,maybe there is a photosensitive reaction. On the other hand, the can is hermetic and completely opaque".
Jay still looks at me like i'm an idiot. But he raises one eyebrow. Like, maybe I got a point. What I said just about sounded (i emphasize on the "sounded") intelligent enough that he wasn't sure wether I'm full of crap or not
Also, he lacked the technical knowledge to rebute my awesome answer
So, this afternoon I managed to get into an argument with an alcoholic Bum about Basque terrorism.
This goes to show two things.
1)Basque terrorism really is a sensitive topic, even with half begian, half sunite alcoholic bums.
2)I am a well rounded, non-judgemental person: I hate everyone equally, and will fight anyone on any topic, no matter how rich, poor, crazy, sane, sober or drunk.
It's almost the weekend, and all I can say, is, again, as Peter Gibbons puts it:
Peter Gibbons: "So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life." Dr. Swanson: "What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?" Peter Gibbons: "Yeah." Dr. Swanson: "Wow, that's messed up."
Its not necessarily the best Ramone's song (my personal favourites are "Chain Saw" and "Loudmouth", and...oh well, the list is too long)
But this song means a lot to me. I don't necessarily agree with every point, but I really agree with the general feeling.
"I'm Against It"
Well I'm against it I'm against it Well I'm against it I'm against it I don't like politics I don't like communists I don't like games and fun I don't like anyone And I'm against... I don't like Jesus freaks I don't like circus geeks I don't like summer and spring I don't like anything I don't like sex and drugs I don't like waterbugs I don't care about poverty All I care about is me And I'm against... I don't like playing ping pong I don't like the Viet Cong I don't like Burger King I don't like anything And I'm against... Well I'm against it I'm against it
Or like Milton says in Office Space (top 3 movie ever):
"And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... "
I think that's a quite funny quote... it's from the NY timesThere is a new yardstick for the size of the universe. It is approximatelyequal to the size of Kanye West’s ego.
I replied that Kanye West's ego is about half the size of my manhood
according to my ruler, it seems about right
oh, and I hate Kanye West -his videoclips suck -he rips everything off of everyone (just added lyrics to a Daft Punk Song....wow, groundbreaking) -i don't need to be preached about Jesus by a rapper and then be told he's harcore -he whines, although he's rich -he has no flow -the tone of his voice hurts my ears, he sounds like an 8 year old
There is only one master (besides me of course): Rakim
-"i'm going to get a coffee at the machine, can I get you something?"
-"yeah,...can you bring me a girl?"
-"I'm going to see if I find you TheTank"
TheTank is...well, it really is more a Tank than an actual woman
He came back with his coffee, and without TheTank.
thank you Jay.
a few hours pass
I'm feeling weak
Yesterday I went to the Gym for the first time in 3 years
But this is another story
I need a Coke.
-"Jay, I'm going down to get a Coke, can I bring you somthing?"
-"no thank you" (in the saddest, most depressive voice i've ever heard"
-"no thank you, no thank you, no thank you" I keep imitating him while I try to find some coins for the classic Coke vending machine (its hackable by the way, but that's another story too)
-"are you making fun of me?" - "I'm going to break you face"
aaaah, love, hate, so many emotions.
life is great
the weather sucks again
as Lewis Black puts it "I feel like slitting my veins, to see some color" !!
-Jay, I'm going downstairs to get a Coke, do you want something?
-actually, yeah, can you get me a coffee? Can you take my mug?
-yeps, and then?
-you press 1+3+Start
-Oook...
I come back, with a coke, and a coffee.
Jay opens his drawer, and exclaims "Tadaaaaa!!!" as he takes out a rather old looking Snickers Bar
-wow, I say
-yeeeeessss, he says, mmmmmh
he then unwraps the snickers and dips it in his coffee
-AAARGH, dude, you are mixing two disgusting things. WTF??
I hate both coffee and snickers, as standalone items. to me, that mix is the apocalipsis of tastebud mayhem.
-YEEEEAAAHHH, MMMMMMMHHHHHH
I also hate Coke, and yet, I drink it. I think its my way of slowly committing suicide.
It could be worse, I could be trying to kill myself form a Snnickers and Coffee overdose.
At the same time I saw what is indeed a delicious mix. one that has all my senses tingling. I couldn't have more expectations: Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund together, in a Zombie Movie....
So, the other day I was at a friend's (Bmook) watching "Temple of Doom" and there he is. the little asian dude that keeps saying "Dr. Jones - Dr.Jones" and who wears wooden blocks under his feet to drive a car.
and then, I see it clearly, something my 8 year-old mind couldn't see at the time.
that little asian dude...its fucking Data
Data is one of the Goonies.
so anyway. I decide I must be sure. I cannot live with this uncertainty. So when I get back home, I start watching the goonies, and there he is...little asian dude.
so the next day, I tell Bmook:
-"dude!! I was right, it WAS Data"
-"really, holy shit, cool"
-"what are you talking about?" (am-pm, Bmook's girlfriend asks)
-Bmook: "Indiana jones...bla bla bla, Goonies, bla bla, Data, Bla bla, The Truffle-Shuffle blah blah"
-am-pm:"What are The Goonies? I've never seen the Goonies"
-....
-....
-Bmook: we're through - well at least until you've seen The Goonies
Yeah, all I could feel when I heard that she hadn't seen the Goonies was that her childhood must have been miserable. well maybe not, but it would have ruled if she had seen The Goonies.
Its kind of as bad as not having seen E.T.
That's what I said anyway.
then Bmook said: "I used to be scared of ET, I thought he was hiding in my closet"
....
And then he said something else:"I've never seen the Godfather movies"
-"What???? But, but, there were 3 of them? you haven't seen any???"
-"nope"
-"but, but, that's not possible - godfather 2 is in any Top 3 movies of all time of any listing ever"
So the weekend is over. a weekend of shocking revelations, dinners, parties and concerts (Justice and Morcheeba),
and now,
back to life, back to reality (and yes i am singing this phrase)
then of course, when times are good, I have nothing funny to say.
however.
after a horrendous day, I received a call saying that Moby was going to give a free concert at one of my favourite bars.
I'm not the greatest fan of Moby.
I still can't believe he used to bang Cristina Ricci.(they just shared a flat.....right!)
anyhow, I went there, and it was fucking madness:
so, after an hour oof being compressed in a sweat factory, I go home, I relax, and, My favourite football team in the world kicks the fucking shit out of the team I dislike the most:
I love humiliations, especially when they go the right way
There's so many friends I need to call today !!!
-"But the only thing playing is that U2 thing, and I don't like U2"
my eyes open
my eyebrows raise
a smile appears in my face
-"Yeah, I know what you mean, I HATE U2"
his eyes open
his eyebrows raise
a smile appears on his face
we raise our hands, and go for a double High-Five
"Finally" we both say
"I am not alone"
He hates the music. it gives him headaches. I think the music is non-original, and boring I also hate Bono, and his glasses. And the Edge (whooo, radical, edgy, wooww...WHO GIVES A FUCK), and his hat.
-"Yeah, my glasses are off, I'm wearing contact lenses"
-"Oh, yeah, true, true. But that's not it. Your seem to be wearing your jeans real high. either that, or your jacket is too long. Dunno, something seems not quite right."
A voice interrupts. An exasperated murmur. Jay: "Is this fashion week or what?"
-"Jay, I'm in touch with my feminine side, I don't mind speaking about these things. I'm secure in my own Sexuality."
-"Well, I have a sexuality, you don't have a sexuality."
- "nuff said - good point"
This morning I was tired. I didn't want to go to work. Now, I don't even have a sexuality
Oh well, at least I have a fashion sense.
A fashion sense I can't share with all these tasteless fools, but a fashion sense nonetheless.
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