so
I am on holydays.
i've decided to leave Jay, alone, with his files and his 3 bosses up his ass
I miss him a lot
so I sent him the nicest possible text message today:
"I am at the beach"
I thought he would be gratefeul I remembered him.
So he replied
"I am in the toilet".
I think that there are 3 types of women in Bed, Talk-wise.
1)those that don't talk at all. they usually don't move at all either. they're great. well if you consider fucking a piece of lard with a grin great.
2)those that talk and are fun and love to have sex. if you know any of those, send her my way please.
3)those that talk but you go..."what the fuck?"
allow to illustrate.
-"did you remember to buy yoghurt?"
-"did your ex also let you do this?"
-"shhh, you're gonna wake up the kid"
i'm depressed because i can't get a girlfriend.
my friends are extra supportive...
-"seriously, R, I don't get it, you're not that ugly (wow, thanks, i feel great now) and you're not that unpleasant (jeez, wow, I really feel good about myself now). I think you're just too demanding"
-"too demanding, really? how? too demanding as in I want girls who are not that ugly nor that unpleasant??"
-"exactly, you need to drop all those ridicilousm society-imposed-unattainable-standards!!"
-"Oh, the Olympic Games start this weekend?!!" (Jay, Friday the 8th of Agust, 2008 - at 15.00pm)
-HAHAHAHA
-"what, I don't give a shit obout the games"
-"dude, even if you don't give a shit...the games are talked about everywhere !"
-"yeah, i guess, whatever. I really want to see the 100m, 200m and 400m....and an MMA championship!!"
I've been watching the Sopranos from scratch for the past few weeks.
I'm now in season 5.
I've been having pleny of bizarre violent dreams.
a connection?
maybe?
Today, I was in K-Man's office, he suddenly reached down to adjust his shoe-laces.
I kinda twitched... as adrenaline rushed to my brain.
My Soprano fanatic instinct was telling me somthing.
WHY THE HELL WOULD HE WEAR AN ANKLE-GUN AT WORK??
is he going to carry it while we go to lunch?
Am I going to get murdered today?
I really need to finish these dam series and start watching something a little more normal.
When does Season 2 of "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" Start??
Jay: "You're leaving tonight right?"
-"Yup"
-"It's a pity, I was thinking of having some friends over tomorrow night, and I thought you could come too".
-"It's nice but,..I'm not your friend"
-"I know".
A good friend: B-Mac (contacts me through the chat.
Its been a long time.
He was on vacation.
I was at work
Which is kind of a vacation.
well, a vacation to hell.
he was in New York.
It's also hell I guess
So anyway,
we're catching up and he says:
-B-Mac: "so, i have to go to houston in 2 weeks for work"
-R: "nice"
-"and I sent an email to a friend of mine to ask her if she wanted to catch up
here's her response":
Things are not good here. I filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. My husband tried to buy a $850,000 condo in the galleria area behind my back, but they would not give him a loan.
He said he had no intentions of buying the condo, just that he wanted to see how much he could get a mortgage for. That is such a lie. So there is nothing more that I can do.
There is something going on that he no longer wants to be married.
There is so much more to this story. he initially was going to give me the furniture and help me out financially so that I wouldn't have to go back to work right away, but now, he says that I am narcissitic and that I shouldn't be able to keep everything.
He does not want to do anything to help me out anymore.
His actions are making this so much easier on me. He wants to continue living in our home until the divorce is final. This is strange b/c 1 month ago, he tried to buy another place.
I had my attorney send his attorney a paper asking him to leave. If he doesn't leave, I will go to court.
He is going to be so pissed tonight.
I can't live with him anymore.
This is pretty amazing by itself
Then B-Mac says:".....let me know when you're done reading that, so I can show you the best part"
-"i'm done"
- B-Mac: "Anyways, I would love to meet you, but I will be in Puerto Vallarta that week. That sux. Maybe next time"
I'm glad I'm not her husband
.....
-"Do you know how much I paid my Coke?"
-"no..."
-"This morning it was priced at 70c, and now, later this morning, it was priced at 75c....I feel like I got Ass-fucked"
The prices have been raised due to a new indexation of prices.
the conclusion is that 5cents is the price one has to pay to fuck Jay up his ass.
that is even cheaper than a blow-job from a 63 year old toothless chrackwhore transvestite.
Update 1:
Jay also got angry that I started blogging about this
-"Are you blogging about this?"
-"Yeah, so"
-"I told you plenty of interesting stories this morning and you blog about this?"
-"interesting stories like....???"
-"well, i told you plenty of stuff about Jui Juitsu".
-".....right"
If he had told me a story about a 63 year old toothless chrackwhore transvestite, I would have blogged about that !!
Update 2:
I turn around and Jay is watching a video on YouTube titled "IN YOUR ASS"
I rest my case...
stressed about work?
sharing an office with Jay?
worried about getting attacked by Jay's mediocre Jui Juitsu? (anyhow, my Geek-Fu is clearly superior to his Stu-Pid-Kan't-Do)
try "not giving a fuck"
I think this is the best life lesson I've ever seen on film.
-"Jay, do you think I should put AdSense on my blog?"
-"right, I will klick on it everyday"
-"hmmm, you're right,
I wonder though, I think the only reason I should use AdSense is to see what ads will be generated based on the content of my blog"
-then Jay just looks at me with pity in his eyes and says "Prozac?"
-"....asshole"
-"well it's either Prozac, or Viagra...whatever!"
Jay keeps complaining
-"my muscles hurt" (from doing some sports yesterday = having a man sweat on him while performing bodylocks)
-"you have no muscles"
....
-"should I remind a certain someone that I beat him recently at arm wrestling"
-"bah, I was hurt then" (I try to hide my humiliating defeat with stupid excuses, I should have blamed the wind, it would have avoided what came next...)
-"Getting hurt afterwards doesn't count"
then he laughs...
Boredom at work has reached a new level.
A level I can't comprehend.
A level the Jay, nor C-Boy will ever understand
A level the K-Man may one day reach if he keeps good discipline.
this is like illumintation through office boredom.
If I ever become that guy, someone please finish me. I don't care how, I don't care how painful you want to make it, just end me !!
Update:
another candidate for premature euthanasia
i think i'm going to use the glasses technique more than once.
just because it rules
also I think this video is finally going to give some edge for kicking Jay's ass every time he starts rambling about MMA and about the latest moves he learned in his Brasilian Jui Juitsu Class (I think he simply likes being on the ground, and being dominated by another man...)
-"I'm going downstairs to get something to drink, you need anything?"
-"no, i'm good thanks"
-"seriously, you don't want anything? do you want me to hit anyone while i'm at it?"
-"hmm can't think of anyone in particular"
-"just tell me who and i'll hit him"
-"dunno, why don't just hit anyone that crosses your path, randomly"
-"OK !!"
When Jay came back with his drink he seemed unscathed and had no bruises on his knuckles
Somehow I had a fantasy where he would come back to the office with a vicious sadistic smile expressing accomplishment and his shirt completely covered by random splatters of blood....most of it being seomeone else's,
I can't help feeling a little disappointed
As much as one can think of eastern europe as a black hole of post-communism depressiveness,
You have to give credit where credit is due.
Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)
the most grandiose spectacle of gladiatoral attributes on earth.
Romanians have taken it to the next level
a level where brute force is mixed with grace, beauty....and a little bit of baby oil
I'm doing a fight card bet with Jay
we have to respectively bet the 10 fights foreseen in the forthcoming UFC-87
Jay likes to think he's an expert
but he's not.
to demonstrate this, I have decided to do all my bets (except 2) by toin-coss.
I have thrown the coin 8 times.
it landed on "heads"....8 fucking times.
I said: "I've just broken all laws of human probability"
Jay said: "Human probability?"
well, yeah...I mean...whatever.
I'm keeping this coin, it's evil !! it was made in the Devil's foundry by Trolls and other wicked creatures !!
My friends and co-workers keep having babies.
awesome.
someone in my office who finds babies about as awesome as I do just told me a joke.
-"Do you know how much time it takes to cook a baby in a microwave?"
-"hmm, no, how long?"
-"I don't know, I was too busy masturbating".
I laughed and then I reminded that person about the best method to make a baby cry a second time....
...you clean your cock on his teddy-bear.
I love life
Don't you?
its an expression over here.
I finally convinced the K-man to watch "Office Space".
a "chef d'Oeuvre" of bureaucratic atrabiliousity.
In any case, I think that both the K-Man and I would agree that we are sourrounded of people like Daniel Chesterfield.
I wish they all suffer a horrible, horrendous, painful and humiliating quasi-but-not-death wich leaves them in endless suffering accident
I'm talking about people who do the most stupid shit imaginable and manage to convince you that they are actual productive members of society.
Fight
finish him
hmmm, i lust my teenage years of Mortal Kombat
here is the most ultraviolent fight of them all
Tai Chi Masters Battle
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