one of these days

-one of these days i'm gonna flip out

-can you please let me know 3minutes in advance, i don't want to end up with a screen thrown to my face

-i don't want to throw a sceen at you. I wan't to go from office to office and snap people's necks (he mimes the snapping with his hands)

-i'm not sure it's really that effective in real life

-you want to try?

-not really, why don't you try on someone else?

funny thing is that 1h before I asked Jay if he was in a good mood, and he replied "have you ever seen me in a bad mood".

well....

:)

you're jaleous

-"what"?

-"you're jaleous"

-"i wasn't even listening"

-"that's because you're jaleous"

-"what am i supposed to be jaleous about?"

-"you're just jaleous that's all"

-....

-"you're jaleous, because I got to kick's a guy'as in the elevator" (he's joking, but he's throwing fists knee-shots in the air)

-"well, if you actually had done that, I would be jaleous"

Jay turns to me smiling

-"yeah, and then you'd see a trace of blood on the elevator's mirror, running down to the floor"

-"yeah, sweet"

-"and he's be twitching on the ground and stuff" (Jay starts twitching)

-"yeah,...sweet"


mmmh, violence

what's the office version of columbine?

recount

yesterday afternoon a few amazing things happened

-Italy got BEAT !!! (yeah !) by Holland.
any day where Italians get internationally humiliated qualifies as a good day in my book.

-I had lunch in an Italian restaurant, the food was great and the waitresses were mega hot.

and while I was eating, Italy was getting its ass served,
absolutely priceless

I got to see the best UFC match ever, and see for the first time in my life a Piledriver being performed in actual combat situation and not just as a WWF fun simulation

imagine this


between two guys that want to actually really destroy the living hell out of each other

you get this


ITS FUCKING AWESOME.

Silence is Golden

-Hi

-Hi

-Good morning

-Good morning

silence ensues

time passes,

more time passes

-Jay, are you sure you're ok?

-yes, why?

-well, you insult me every morning. I mean, at least a little, and today, nothing?

-It's Monday, I can't be bothered.


we're all doomed

Friday rant

life is like a box of chocolates

evertime you open one, all the good stuff is already gone

what is left has melted

and people still get pissed if you refuse to take one

FUCK IT

RAAAGE

one day... I will do the same

in the meantime, this is hilarious

bloody fucking hilarious


http://view.break.com/513310 - Watch more free videos

C-Boy is a machine

K-Man enters our office.
-are you ready (for coffee)

-yes, I am

I'm about to get up and leave

but,

C-Boy passes by.
He cannot resist, there's too many people around,
so he starts talking to us

-Tell us a joke C-Boy

-No, No, I'm out of Jokes, I only know those 3.

-3?? I've only heard 2, I want to hear the third one

-(K-Man) yeah, I only remember two.

-I don't remember...

C-Boy exits the office

I get ready to go for coffee

C-Boy jumps back through the door

-Oh, I remember this one joke
Its not the best joke for a (insert nationality from ancient fascist/dictatorial regime of your choice) to tell ...buutt

-come on, tell us !

-ok ok, why do the shower thingies at (insert name of your favourite extermination camp) have 11 holes?

...

...C-Boy raises his hands up the air, the fingers pointing towards the ceiling

...

Because you only have 10 fingers !!!

he likes his job

-don't you hate your job? why don't you quit, and leave this place...and...leave me alone?

-i don't hate my job lately. lately, I like my job. because I have to lick people's asses.

-C-Boy: it's his favourite activity anyway

-yeah!

Rage Against The Machine

I'm close, but not close enough.
I see a space.
I will cut through that space.
and I will make to the fence

The lights are on.
there is silence
we're all waiting
waiting for rage

the tension keeps builiding
there is less and less space around me
there is no space around me
except for that little gap

that little gap between
a fat, heavily tattoed guy
a japanese
and a red head

the lights are off
the rage is out
the music explodes
the crowd jumps

that space is mine
I grab the fence
I hold on tight
I own my spot

there are 15.000 people behind me,
there are only 4 in front
rage against the machine
full on

and then, a story of energy, sweat, bruising and loads of headbanging ensued

finally

the weekend

Ms.Popular's boyfriend has just introduced me to one of the cutest girls i've seen in a loooooong while.

of course this means that
-i will probably never see her again
-she hated me the moment she saw me
-she think i'm crazy (she's talked to me for a full 2 minutes, so she's had plenty of time)

jesus what a smile

the only think Jay had to say was "yeah, I noticed you liked her"

we're all doomed

but its the weekend

aaaah, the weekend

week+end=happyness

i feel miserable

Jay has pointed out that I am inconsistent

that one time a called a sniffer a sniffer, and another time I called a sniffer a "sniffy".

according to him:
-I should feel miserable
-I should blog about this inconsistence and about how miserable I feel
-I should wonder about my own existence

Truth is, I couldn't care less, snickers+coffee=the most disgusting thing I could imagine eating (and this beats human raw flesh, roadkill and the like)

Also, I am still not awake. So, I actually don't care much about anything at all right now


Note:
Jay just pointed out that I should have spelled "sniffy", "sniffee".
He is right, I am wrong.

Right now, I wonder which one of the both of us has less of a life

Note2:
Jay just said that this "no-life" has more sense than a life without sense

whatever that means

I also just mentioned that I am going to regret that he came to the office so early today (at least 45m earlier than usual).
I think he's right

What he doesn't realise is that I regret him coming at all, every day :)

my biography in a short film

So this friend of mine has directed a short film: "Nave #527"

It's in Spanish

Its the story of a dude who wakes up in an abandoned warehouse, he doesn't remember shit, and he can't find the exit.

Feels kind of like the story of my life.

everyday, I wake up, and I'm trapped in nonsense.

except my life is a little more like Cube, I go through the day wondering if cutting cables are going to come out of the walls and cut me to pieces

anyway,

here's the trailer

paprika

Jay "can" have, "sometimes", good ideas.

It important to emphasize on the "can" and the "sometimes"

-I'm going to to get some chips!

-oh..wait, wait,

-you want some?

-yeah, fuck yeah, that's a great idea (i never have chips in the office, but i really felt like getting something salty)

-allright

Jay comes back up

He has two packs of chips

unfortunately both of them are blue

and i know what that color blue means

it means...paprika.

-Paprika? you got paprika? (and I feel bad, because he did do me a huge favor), seriously?

-well, if you don't want it (looking at me, as usual, as if I was a lunatic - which I am, I suppose) yo u can give it to me. I'll be happy to eat both.

I think about it,

I even open the pack, to see if I can convince myself of going through the ordeal.

Am I hungry enough?

As I open the pack, the smell comes up,

that old, mind-blocked, horrible paprika stench.

-Well, if you don't mind, you can have it

-There's one "salt" pack left in the vending machine

-and it shall be mine !!!

I went downstairs and got me a pack of chips

once open, it lasted me about 2 minutes.

maybe one day I will be able to eat paprika chips

that day will be the day when:
a-I can eat a sniffer
b-I get so used to the taste of my own vomit, that I enjoy swallowing it back.

i have no purpose

I get up,

cross my doorway

walk into the hall

and realize that I have no idea what I'm doing there

I didn't forget what I was supposed to do

I just got up and walked out

maybe part of my brain though I was supposed to do something?

I think I have early stages of alzheimer

either that, or I have been contaminated by the horrible smell of a snickers melting into a coffee again.

Jay tortured me with this today.
He came next to me and started, in slow-motion, the most unwatchable dipping process I've ever witnessed.
I almost puked

I think I'm going to call the Snickers & Coffee: "the Sniffee"

Advertising in Thailand

it reminds me of my office somehow.(actually I have a pretty good idea of the how

George

George Bernard Shaw has said one of the only things i've read about in a while.

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one"

This morning is quite uneventful, but I'm going to have lunch with C-Boy now
So, anything can happen !!

:)

1h later

C-Boy didn't fail me:

as he came into my office he noticed the cough syrup on my table (mmm, codein)

-"is that for you, or for you sick friend (Jay) over there?"

-"it's for me, i was sick all through last week"
(C-Boy was away, on holydays all through last week....motherfucker)

-"oh, so you gave it to him" (it being the most disgusting variant of a bronchitis i had ever seen)

-"nope, amazingly enough, we got it at the same time"

-"oh, i see, did you both get it while you were doing...."something"...together, in the rain?!"

I look at Jay, and for once, we shared the same look of....what the fuck?

the world of chemistry

no, i'm not

long ago (well, a few months ago)

so,..., LONG AGO !!

I was at an office farewell drink of a (female) colleague of mine:MsPopular
nice crowd, a few drinks, chatting here and there.

And then MsPopular introduces to me to her friend: MsBig
Ms Big is cute, and nice, and pleasant.

and I'm single

So I start talking to her, have a pleasant time, then say good bye

all is cool, maybe I'll see her again one day.

but i didn't, never

ever,

ever

eeeeeever

until today.

-"Hey, your MsPopular's friend aren't you?"

-"hey, yes, and you're her boyfriend right?"

-"....no,....hum...i'm not"

she puts her arm around her face and changes the side of her hair, exposing her neck

-"oh, but i thought you were, aren't you"?

-"no, i'm really not"

-"oh, the way she introduced you at the time, I thought you were her boyfriend"



No wonder I don't have, as Jay so bluntly puts it, a sexuality.

its the same

-See the problem is that i'm trying to build this search thing that will identify the most relevant words in a text

-oh, you mean like those things...with like bigger and small words? you know what i mean right

-yeah, tag clouds

-yeah, that's it. why don't you just use that

-its not the same thing!!

-how so? you are trying to identify the most relevant keywords in an article. a tag cloud does that

-no, a tag cloud looks at the most relevant words as entered by some dumbass in a search engine. i just want my thing to look at articles, and find the most relevant stuff

-yeah, so its the same thing

-no

-yes it is! an article is a text= sequence of words. a tag cloud looks at words, that are in a database= also a sequence of words. so its the same thing

-....the problem is...that you don't understand !!

-what i don't understand is why you're wasting your time doing something that already exists.

-if it existed already, I wouldn't be doing it

-you are doing it

(he stares at me like a)i'm dumb. b)he hopes I die, right now)


moments later

I put on a song

a great song: Nothing Else Matters by Metallica.

-Are those the Scorpions?

-No, its Metallica (As a Metallica fan, I'm right-down offended, but I casually downplay it)

-It's basically the same thing

-yeah, its the same thing as in what you're doing is the same thing as a tag cloud and you're wasting your time


MOUAHAHAAAAaaa

when you see a man down, finish him

I'm sick, i'm still sick

every day, my sickness evolves

today its headache+loads of mucus
its great

i get to the office, later than usual, after a traffic jam.
why a traffic jam
I don't know
maybe the beautiful combination of a railroad strike, and works on all the main avenues from my house to my office
I don't know

I sit at my desk, and dwell on my condition.
Jay comes in, he sees me and asks:
-How are you?

(you bastard, you know i'm sick)

-BAD!!

-HAHAHAHAHAHA, you're gonna die

I feel the support !!